I like Christmas. I like the new Monthly awards that come on Christmas too. But there's more to the story.

Chapter 1: The Award Package
The NG Monthly awards usually come in a padded bubble mailer with a Newgrounds address label in the top right corner. Inside the envelope is a a black folder-type portfolio to protect it during travel. Sometimes the postman gets physical with the envelope and folds it into my tiny apartment mailbox thus bending an entirely terrible crease across the award. This has happened twice so far but overall it hasn't been bad. Inside the award cover are several stickers and other fun things that Newgrounds gives away or sells. Also there's a swell t-shirt. And of course, a check written from Tom's future kid's college savings.

Chapter 2: The Missing Frame

Newgrounds typically has a short few weeks between announcing a monthly award and seeing the monthly award. During this time I always run out to Target and get the same frame I have been getting since i won my first one back in 2006. I've done this eight times now for each award as sort of a tradition, and for the ninth I ran out to buy a frame at Target once more. They are always on sale for about $5 and in-stock so I always counted on them being around.

Low and behold, Target has stopped producing the frames (from what I can tell). My OCD tendency to have matching frames on all my monthly awards caused a major frowntown. For the life of me I couldn't figure out what to do, so instead of buying a different frame I just left. I went to another Target store later that week but it wasn't in the cards.

Chapter 3: The New Awards

Like a Christmas miracle, the new award came ALREADY FRAMED. It's beautiful. It's lovely to have an assembled award ready for wall mounting in my place. And it totally means no more postman bending (unless he's hulking out or something).

Chapter 4: Easter Egg (ZOMG)
Of course, the amount of details on these awards are stunning. From the gun-barreled crest border to the foiled tank emblem the entire award is a piece of artwork on it's own. But a smaller look closer into the bottom left corner reveals a message to the award recipient which I would love to share with you. It's sub-8pt font, very difficult to read, and is below a picture of a crown (I marked it on the pic below):

KING FOR A DAY
Every day approximately 500,000 to 1,000,000,582,090 visitors come through Newgrounds. Many of them are regulars, while others were simply passed a link from a friend, co-worker, or their older then fuck grandparents (who have ZERO business browsing Newgrounds, OR the net in-general). LOL I'M SENDING EMAILS TO MY GRANDKIDS!

Anywho, Newgrounds is the original - and still the largest - flash portal on the net. That means the world, and I'm TEMPTED to say the entire solar system, but our knowledge of Jupiter is very limited in it's hostile, unforgiving environment. Jupiter is fucking huge though... I mean, for all we know...
------

And I'll leave it there, it goes on about naked Jupiter girls and some crazy thing like that. Next time you win a monthly award I'll let you finish up because it's one lovely read (and I'm getting tired of translating 6pt type). Anywho, I appreciate the monthly award and thanks for the lovely Christmas gift!

-John